but Orochimaru’s tongue.
i asked my mom how she met my dad and she said at a college basketball game this guy got distracted and got hit by the ball and got a huge bloody nose and he came up to her after the game and said “i was distracted by you” with like blood all over his face and jersey
so i asked my dad and he said “my friend told me he’d give me 10 bucks if i asked a girl out with my broken nose and she said yes”
unless you’ve got
my snake don’t want habit unless you’ve got rabbits mulan protagonist
That’s the antagonists you moron
me cause football right around the corner
Wow. Tumblr is supposed to be a sanctuary, a safe haven, even, for alternative lifestyles. Not for high school jocks interested in the most common thing ever. Seriously, football is exactly the kind of thing someone joins tumblr to escape from. Stop watching football and go join a fandom, or delete your account.
Signed, a proud football-hating SuperWhoLockianStuckSwimmingOnTitanPotter fan.
we takin’ over
I’d go south on 88 if you know what I mean.
This is the best use of that gif ever.
that’s not what she said
you want to have sex while a homeless man watches i’m pretty sure that’s what’s wrong.
besides the gay thing
This is it. This is how it started.It baffles me when no one I work with knows why I’m so cool.
when your friend starts telling an embarrassing story about you
when the moon makes you a guardian
we’re being faced with a serious issue.
there is only 1 sarcasm left
now we’ve got to use it wisely. please, for the love of god, think before you speak. it’s gotta be good.
yeah okay, i’ll be sure to do that
More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married
It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve
*punches a wall* Oklahoma