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but Orochimaru’s tongue.


steadymobbing:

steadymobbing:

i asked my mom how she met my dad and she said at a college basketball game this guy got distracted and got hit by the ball and got a huge bloody nose and he came up to her after the game and said “i was distracted by you” with like blood all over his face and jersey

so i asked my dad and he said “my friend told me he’d give me 10 bucks if i asked a girl out with my broken nose and she said yes”

(Source: ptolemaic)


ohmalley-thealliecat:

sam-winchester-cries-during-sex:

lunar-bunnie:

my

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don’t want 

image

unless you’ve got

image

image

my snake don’t want habit unless you’ve got rabbits mulan protagonist

That’s the antagonists you moron




40ozhoe:

cheefkief:

40ozhoe:

me cause football right around the corner 

Wow. Tumblr is supposed to be a sanctuary, a safe haven, even, for alternative lifestyles. Not for high school jocks interested in the most common thing ever. Seriously, football is exactly the kind of thing someone joins tumblr to escape from. Stop watching football and go join a fandom, or delete your account.

Signed, a proud football-hating SuperWhoLockianStuckSwimmingOnTitanPotter fan.

NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

we takin’ over 

(Source: anquanboldin)




(Source: kendaspntwd)


whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite:

kiwoa:

raskbutt:

I’d go south on 88 if you know what I mean.




This is the best use of that gif ever.

whydisignuponthisgodforsakensite:

kiwoa:

raskbutt:

I’d go south on 88 if you know what I mean.

image

image

This is the best use of that gif ever.


that’s not what she said

that’s not what she said


you want to have sex while a homeless man watches i’m pretty sure that’s what’s wrong.besides the gay thing


helloloveducks:

babygirlimablur:

This is it. This is how it started.

It baffles me when no one I work with knows why I’m so cool.

helloloveducks:

babygirlimablur:

This is it. This is how it started.

It baffles me when no one I work with knows why I’m so cool.

treepelta113:

burgerkid:

when your friend starts telling an embarrassing story about you

image

when the moon makes you a guardian

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ATTENTION SARCASM USERS

buttlass:

tweeckos:

we’re being faced with a serious issue.

there is only 1 sarcasm left

now we’ve got to use it wisely. please, for the love of god, think before you speak. it’s gotta be good.

yeah okay, i’ll be sure to do that


thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

gallifrey-feels:

More fun facts about ancient Celtic marriage laws: There were no laws against interclass or interracial marriage, no laws against open homosexual relationships (although they weren’t considered ‘marriages’ since the definition of a marriage was ‘couple with child’), no requirement for women to take their husband’s names or give up their property, but comedians couldn’t get married

It’s Adam and Eve not Adam Sandler and Eve

(Source: saltwaterandink)


baby: da....da...
dad: dada?
baby: da...danny phantom he was just 14 when his parents built a very strange machine. it was designed to view a world unseen. (He's gonna catch em all cuz he's Danny Phantom!) When it didn't quite work, his folks, they just quit. Then Danny took a look inside of it. There was a great big flash! Everything just changed! His molecules got all rearranged! When he first woke up he realized he had snow white hair and glowing green eyes. He could walk through walls, disappear and fly! He was much more unique than the other guys! It was then that he knew what he had to do. He had to stop all the ghosts that were comin' through. He's here to fight for me and YOU! He's gonna catch em all cuz he's Danny Phantom! gonna catch em all cuz he's Danny Phantom! gonna catch em all cuz he's *whispers* Danny Phantom



(Source: sikanapanele)


*punches a wall* Oklahoma